Sensitivity is often perceived as a weakness, something that makes us vulnerable or too 'emotional' in a society that prizes resilience and stoicism. Someone who isn’t phased by life and breezes through is often commended and praised whilst someone who feels and reacts to life and the complexities it presents is often seen as 'difficult' or 'hard work'. However, people who are often highly sensitive are not just emotionally sensitive but physically and therefore socially sensitive too. As children this can result in rejection, isolation and disconnection triggering feelings of shame, anxiety and low mood and increased self criticism and lower self esteem. 'Toughen up', 'grow a thicker skin' or 'rise above it' is advise often given which can only create to further difficulties.
So what if you are someone who is super sensitive or has a child who is?
Dr Elaine Aron coined the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) in the 1990's:
"The highly sensitive person (HSP) has a nervous system that is more sensitive than the norm, making them more aware of and affected by external stimuli and internal emotional states."
Her research found this hyper sensitive nervous system affected 15-20% of people with what she termed Sensory Processing Sensitivities (SPS). Understanding that being sensitive is not a choice or that a person is not 'trying to be difficult' can be a huge relief and lead to improved relationships and better self care. Perhaps this is beginning to resonate with you or someone you know?
Though HSP is not a recognised mental health diagnosis it has greatly impacted my practice as a therapist. I first become aware of HSP when reading Imi Lo's book Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity and realised it connected to the Sensory Integration Theory training I had done a few years previously. Dr. A. Jean Ayres devised this theory in the 1970s, it explains how the brain organizes and interprets sensory information based on eight senses: sight, sound, smell and taste but also Proprioception, Interoception and Vestibular. Proprioception receptors are found in the joints, tendons and muscles, these let our brain know about the body's position movement and force. Interoception receptors are found in numerous organs and let us know if we feel sick, hungry, hot/cold etc. Lastly the Vestibular receptors are found in the inner ear and let us know our balance and spatial orientation.
I started connecting the dots between children I was seeing, who were often sensory; seeking, avoiding, sensitive or low registration (not noticing or respond to sensory input as much as others). and the connection with their emotional sensitivity and presentation. I began using some of the techniques around regulation in my therapy room to see if it could help. For example one child I saw, who had ADHD and ASD, became so excited when they were coming to therapy it was difficult for them to engage so we put in some simple 'Proprioreception' feedback techniques right at the start which came in the form of wall push ups, leg presses under the table and rolling on the floor. The change in their engagement was significant and over the months these become less needed as they became more regulated in the space.
With adults I have seen the benefits of them using stillness, engaging in self hugs, weighted blankets, aromatherapy oils and baths to help regulate their sensitivity.
Seeing clients as holistic beings and considering a "brain-body" approach with clients, when appropriate, has allowed me to experience even more of how mental and physical health impact one another but also the interaction between neurological and physiological processes.
I have seen how being highly sensitive can be both a challenge and a superpower for my clients. HSPs experience life in HD—everything is magnified and intense, but it can also be more colorful and awe-inspiring. HSPs often feel like they lack filters for processing life’s stimuli. There is of course a considerable overlap between HSPs and those with ADHD, ASD, PTSD, and CPTSD. Trauma and adverse childhood experiences can further contribute along with genetic and environmental factors.
So How are Highly Sensitive People Affected Emotionally and Physically?
Being highly sensitive means all emotions are of course felt more intensely, which can mean certain upsets linger and ruminate, and letting go of relational conflicts can be tricky. Difficulties managing stressful events and circumstances such as time constraints, deadlines and exams may also be a tell tale sign. Having a sensitive system can mean being startled easily and feeling relaxed can be harder.
"Neuroimaging studies have shown that individuals with high sensory processing sensitivity have increased activation in brain areas related to emotional processing, such as the anterior cingulate cortex and the amygdala. This heightened neural sensitivity contributes to more intense emotional experiences.."
Fox, E., & Mathews, A. (2003). The relationship between anxiety and the sensitivity of the emotional system. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 3(3), 295-307.
Neuroscienfic studies also show those who are highly sensitive have a heightened neural responsiveness which contributes to their pronounced sensitivity to external stimuli such as light, motion, sound, temperature changes, textures of foods and difficulties with clothing for E.g. waist bands and tags. Aron, E. N., & Aron, A. (2009). Sensory Processing Sensitivity and its Relation to the Nervous System. Biological Psychology, 80(3), 262-273.
These sensitivities can also impact on having sensitive guts, skin and even sensitivities to medications, alcohol and caffeine. IBS, Eczema, Asthma, food allergies and intolerance, neck shoulder and back pain, migraines, insomnia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can also be more common amongst people with a sensitive nervous system. I have definitely seen this in my work where clients who are more highly sensitive emotionally also have gut issues and other sensitivities.
No surprise that highly sensitive people are prone to feeling overwhelmed, and experience stress and burn out. Withdrawal can become a way of coping.
"Highly sensitive people may find themselves avoiding certain spaces or places that feel overwhelming. While this avoidance can provide temporary relief, it can also limit opportunities for growth and experiences.." Imi Lo wrote in her book Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity.
But is Being Highly Sensitive a Good Thing?
Yes! Being highly sensitive is also a super power. HSP's tend to think deeply about things and as they feel emotions more intensely that can also includes joy and excitement! They can feel a deep connection with nature, the arts and music making them often very creative, expressive and highly imaginative people.
HSP's are often empaths and intuitive meaning they are often deeply caring and can have a deep concern for people, the planet, animals or perhaps have a heart for social justice. Their sensitivity means they are more likely to pick up on social cues making them good at reading others and creating deep and meaningful relationships. Thinking deeply can also lead to increase self awareness and emotional connection.
So What to do if you Identify with This?
Firstly it is acknowledging the importance and wonder of being wired in this way and finding encouragement for yourself or someone you care about. Beginning to embrace this side of yourself rather than feeling a sense of shame or a need to hide it is so healing for your mental health and increased self compassion, but learning to regulate and be empowered not overrun by this sensitivity is the key especially around emotional and physical regulation.
Researching and reading more or deciding to see a therapist can be really beneficial. Identifying where you struggle and where you thrive can be brilliant for putting in good boundaries and create better self care to prevent and manage overwhelm. Creating calming spaces and engaging in activities such as Tai Chi, Yoga, Meditation, Breathwork can be a good start. Weighted blankets, firm hugs and deep massage can also be helpful in stimulating the Parasympathetic Nervous System (relaxation and recovery system). Decompressing in nature can be great for down regulating as can decluttering your home and work space. It can also be really helpful to identify when you are sensory seeking too as a cool wash cloth on your face, locating a fidget toy, putting in movement breaks, drinking through a straw or sucking on a sour sweet can all help refocus and regulate through our Proprioceptors, Vestibular and Gustibular receptors!
If you have found this helpful and would like to find out if working with me in psychotherapy could be helpful then book a FREE 20 min call.
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